Loop

Loop is spoken by a young girl named Meredith standing by a lake in the autumn of 1954.  She tells us that she does things that she cannot explain and, feeling guilty, keeps thinking about what she did over and over, like a movie loop from The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  She says she tries to be a good person but then she does things she can’t believe she’s doing.  She says sometimes she feels as if she is standing outside herself watching the incredibly stupid thing she’s doing.  But although the moment is gone she keeps playing it over and over in her head.  She says she hurts other people but she can’t stop and can never explain.  She thinks perhaps this is why her mother ran away, because she couldn’t help it.  She thinks she is like her mother and hates the movie about the creature from the black lagoon because at the drive-in she lost her virginity and got knocked up while that movie was playing.  That was where she lost her soul and can’t get it back.  The baby is growing in her and she can’t tell anybody because nobody understands and the loop of the creature coming out of the water keeps playing over and over and there’s no place she can run to get away.

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