The Baltic Sea

In The Baltic Sea, two old men, Kelso and Mott are huddled in the dim glow of a small fire in a tunnel deep beneath the city.  Kelso talks to Mott about the early tv show, What’s My Line?  Mott rattles off a series of surrealistic images.  Kelso says “they” come up from under the ground like slugs after the rain, using strange passageways under the earth and deep under the Baltic Sea.  Mott says the Baltic Sea is a gigantic hoax, perpetrated by the Lithuanians and inhabited by talking fish.  Kelso says he was forced into the sewers by the CIA and Mott continues his description of bizarre events.  Mott offers Kelso a drink from a bottle of the finest New Jersey wine.  Kelso says that God told him to emit gas, and Mott says he met God under the roller coaster at Coney Island.  Kelso says he knows things that could bring down the government and accuses Mott of being “one of them,” telling him he will kill him with a can opener.  But Kelso then says he doesn’t feel well and asks what could be wrong with him.  Mott says he poisoned him and Kelso falls over dead.